Mary’s blogging. For real.
Posted on November 26, 2013
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Why Real is the New Good?
Why this blog, Mary? Well, this blog has always been here. In here, in me. A recurring theme in my life that won’t let up on me, like that reprise in a musical that you don’t know the words to but you don’t have to because it’s really about the feeling, the feeling, telling you something you have to hear. There. Like that. Read it really fast because that’s how it comes. And now, it’s coming out.
Reason 1: Making things look good doesn’t work.
It’s easy to make ourselves look a certain way to others. I mean, no one is going to go into our brains and dig up everything we edited out or added in to make our actions acceptable. But every time we do this, we are becoming someone based in what we think others want or need to see of us. And we are always wrong. When my dad was dying too many years ago for you to have to say something sympathetic, I wrote it all down. Raw. Real. I had read other things people wrote that fell into a category of writing called “inspirational.” It wasn’t. It was painful. These people never felt mad, or if they did, it was quickly washed away by a sunbeam conveniently placed at the perfect point in the inspirational timeline formula, hitting the fence and making a shadow of a religious symbol on the ground. Did it really get all better for that person then? Really? Or did they feel like it should? And so they pretended it did. And that’s what they told me. And I felt worse.
So, why do we do this to each other? Why do we do it to ourselves? We do it because we don’t believe what’s real is more important than what we believe is good. But it always is. It always is.
Reason 2: Real isn’t relative.
No, really. Real is not based on anyone’s subjective, moralistic idea of what is good. It’s gooder than that. Yeah, it’s a paradox. Because what I’m really saying is, real is bigger than any of us can fathom with our limited perspectives. The best thing we can do is strive for the least relative, least judgmental, least separating way of looking at the things in front of us, one thing at a time. People. Situations. Philosophies. Use the Real Litmus Test: Is this way of looking at that thing real because I’ve always looked at it that way? Is it real because hundreds, thousands, or even millions of people look at it that way? Or is it real because it has the least potential to create separation between people? Separation hurts, and often it’s caused by what people think is good. Let’s be real, not relative. Let’s start a real movement. Let’s do something about it. Let’s move. Let’s move into connection. Let’s.