A Different Kind of Yoga Butt

Disclaimer #1 (These disclaimers will be consecutively counted throughout this blog, as I often enlist The Mighty Disclaimer to show people that where they’ve just gone is simply a reaction to certain (awesome) words I’ve put together, which, when spontaneously combined with one’s cultural preconceptions, may create an unflattering reflex assumption about my (awesome) words.) Shit – was that a disclaimer of a disclaimer?

Ahem. Disclaimer #1: Just because I own a yoga studio doesn’t mean I’ll be writing about a bunch of goofy yoga shit. I will, in fact, be writing about life, in the most real possible way, and if you didn’t know it, yoga “gets shit real” really quick. So, there will be yoga talk. But consider it a well-aligned blog skeleton, holding every idea in the whole bitchin’ blog together. Yes, I said “bitchin’.” I’m bringing it back.

On this most auspicious day, I launch my blog. With an entry. About my butt.

Ever hear of “yoga butt”? Supposed to be some kinda awesome butt people get from yoga. I do lots of yoga. My butt has some great extension – down the back of my thigh. People, it’s just how I’m made.

The yoga butt I’m talking about today is more advanced. It’s the “sit your ass down” yoga butt. It’s for people like me who continuously choose action to get some stillness in their mind, but never quite get past a certain point. I don’t care who you think you are, or how you think you work. If all you do is go, move, push – whether it’s a run, a spinning class, even a mindful physical yoga practice – your mind will be substandard. (Ouch, huh?) Beyond some initial improvements that can be pretty significant but still have a limit, you won’t build more attention, memory, empathy. Picture, then, this person I currently am, my brain on activity, like this: a slightly more observant asshole who remembers birthdays some of the time.

So, every day this year, I’ll be getting my yoga butt practice in on my meditation cushion. See my cushion in the picture? It’s so pretty and ergonomically exceptional. I’ve had it for three years. And this year, it is going to finally show some wear. Some very even wear.

My new commitment: every morning, before I leave my bedroom, I sit. What, gotta run to teach a 5:30 am Yoga Boot Camp? No probs, just sit for a minute. Is there a kid barfing in the next room? Just sit for a second. House on fire? You get the picture.

Join me. Let’s not make this harder than it needs to be. I did it today right after I had committed to a morning Walking of the Crazed Dogs with my husband. He started messing with the laundry while he waited. All kindsa benefits here.

Now, I’ll include a decent reference read on the latest meditation research that shows, among other things, that meditation makes you look smarter in front of people. You’ll be jumping up and down screaming, “Meditation, baby! In yo’ face!” Then, maybe tomorrow, you’ll sit.

Science says you might as well meditate like me: http://www.news.wisc.edu/22370