A funny thing happened in the shower the other day. It was all, like, steamy, and I was all, like, outta control. Yeah. I forgot which way to turn the dial for cold. Been there? You get in the shower in a frenzy of morning gotta-do’s and thrash around like the concept of keeping hot-cold/clockwise-counter-clockwise straight will never be attainable. Like it’s beyond you. You wrote it off a long time ago. Just crank it. Well, that shower took place in early 2013 [sniffs armpit]. Then I decided that since I’d be using the same shower for a hundred more years (when I’m 145), it was worth taking the time to cement in what was going on with that fuckin’ dial. So I took…

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